Case File 11

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Hold onto your 2017’s ladies and gentlemen, because we’re going in: it’s yet another episode of Thought Cops. This week we’ve crossed the 100 download barrier, almost doubling our downloads from when we got our podcast up on iTunes.

This week we cover the war happening between the Alt-Right and the Antifa that’s occurring on the three different planes of existence: the physical plane, the ideological plane, and the, uh, third plane. If I’m forced to pick a side in this battle between the political extremities, I’ll Gary Johnson my way straight into cultural irrelevancy via complete ignorance, and yet I’ll STILL get blamed for one side winning or losing. Shove THAT bottle of Pepsi up your ass.

This episode we also discover the antidote for cultural appropriation: drawing strict red lines along racial divides and not letting anybody cross them. Apparently McDonald’s wanting to capitalize on the revival of a $15,000 dipping sauce is one of these red lines. Apparently Disney’s reductionist views of culture surrounding old folklore and fairy tales and turning them into 30 minute, brightly colored, family-friendly singalongs devoid of any actual meaningful representations of the original content is only problematic when it’s being consumed by grown-ass adults that use phrases like “low-key” and “literally.” When I eventually have kids that I punch for Youtube ad revenue, I’ll make sure they watch 5 hour long History Channel documentaries about Hua Mulan instead of dumb cartoon musicals. And when I take them to McDonald’s, I’ll make sure they eat only the authentic White people corn syrup-based dipping sauces, such as bottled water.

Speaking of (allegedly) punching kids for ad revenue, this week blew up in the faces of Youtuber Daddy O’ Five and his sister wife. At least when I was getting hit and screamed at as a kid my parents had the decency not to record it and put it on Youtube. Mostly because Youtube didn’t exist in 1996, but if it did they totally would’ve. But with this generation comes a new breed of parent, the kind of parent that (allegedly) exploits their (alleged) children for (alleged) ad revenue. Anyway, here’s Philip “Fuck-Me-Eyes” DeFranco giving his take on all this:

We wrap things up with more winning: aside from Milo losing his book deal and Tomi Lahren losing her internet show, now we finally have Bill O’Reilly losing his TV show and Alex Jones losing his children. Now that Alex Jones outed himself as a performance artist, where am I supposed to get my news from? The lamestream media? I don’t think so, George Soros.

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