In the internet mob justice system, thought crimes are considered especially heinous. On the internet, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Thought Cops. These are their stories.
Officer Kevin and Officer Grant take a “look back” at their “legacy” thus far over, at some of the “greatest hits” of the past 100 episodes. My memory may be a bit foggy on these, but they sound familiar?
This episode isn’t just about the Thought Cops, though. This is a celebration of YOU- the listeners! Lots of friends of the show chime in with some congratulatory voicemails, as well as cameo appearances from Justin Whang, Davepretendo, Allan Foster, and Zwick! Won’t you join us on this trip down “memory lane”?
Charlotte tells us about all of the “C-words” in her line of work, and how it’s just best in general not to be a total C-word. We agree. We also talk about how “Top ___ Of The Year” lists give us fleeting purpose in this crazy world. After all, we haven’t made any progress in the last 10 years.
Louis CK is back in the news. We’re tired of talking about him. So instead we’ll focus our energy on the Monterey Bay Aquarium and their calculated takedown of an innocent otter who may or may not have a weight problem but is beautiful no matter what because all otters are beautiful. We also learn that otter means something else, too.
“PewDiePie attacks Lilly Singh with ‘Big Chungus’ meme.”
Welcome to Thought Cops! This week, we’re joined by three-peat champion Asterios Kokkinos! Asterios is a comedian from New York, and the host of 48,000 podcasts you can all find in the Asterios Kokkinos Podcast Factory.
It’s the start of a new year, which means we’ve brought all of last year’s problems over the threshold to ruin everyone’s internet experience one obnoxious post at a time. This week, we go apprehend people over too much AOC spam, the social media depression hole, Chris Rock’s n-word controversy, and Soulja Boy’s failed video game console. We also get weirded the fuck out by Kevin Spacey’s newest viral video:
Don’t forget to leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361, and we’ll play it on the show. Happy new year, mother fuckers.
Larry helps us attack the issues of the week, such as the Patreon debacle, all the lawsuits against Fortnite, Sweden’s “man-free” music festival found guilty of discrimination, and a gender neutral Santa debate that doesn’t really exist. We also spend two minutes of hate hating on “internet safety,” Ted Cruz Beard Apologists, and Facebook Friends list purges.
Don’t forget to leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361, and we’ll play it on the show. Thanks again for listening, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS. ALL OF THE HOLIDAYS.
We walk back our comments on celebrity deaths by sticking it to the “celebrity death trolls” this week. How many times am I going to have to google “Adam Sandler dead”, my fingers shaking on each key press, before I learn my lesson? Until you stop trolling me!
A Sonic the Hedgehog movie is coming out, and we got our first look at the character design! Yeah, it sucks. But you probably didn’t need me to tell you that. Though, Sonic has been drawn in much, much, much worse proportions before.
It’s awards season, so we’re talking the Oscars and the Game Awards. Hope you scrubbed your social media presence over the last 15 years, because you might just lose your spot as a host like Kevin Hart did.
Baby It’s Cold Outside is back in the news. I feel like we just did an episode about this, around this time, last year. We’ll probably talk about it again next year, too. Listen to the episode to see if there have been any changes since last year. You win a prize if you can “spot the difference”!
We ride on through to some listener voicemails as well. Leave your own at 312-788-7361, and we’ll play it on the show. Come on, it’s fun! Thanks again for listening, and please, take care of yourselves out there, would you?
Climb aboard, it’s another episode of Thought Cops! This week we are joined by Chicago comedians Aaron Klopfer and Brianna Murphy, and we try very hard to stay on task. Results may vary, but you won’t complain now, will you?
This week, we tackle celebrity deaths. The ones that matter, at least. We (Grant) get mad at our phones for not doing what we tell them to do. Darn those things.
A CALL TO ARMS: The war on porn has begun. Tumblr has started censoring all adult content (which naturally, the algorithm attempts to wildly guess at) and Starbucks bans porn sites from their wifi. No room for cream with that order.
In this episode, dedicated to Gamer-Americans everywhere, we discuss the disappointment that is the PlayStation Classic. However, we also reminisce on the good times. Lego Island, anyone? You guys play that one? An absolute gem.
So. They did surgery on a grape.
Ahem. Well, not exactly. But, we go to excruciating lengths to show you just how unfunny the internet can be. Speaking of: #ThotAudit. Not going to elaborate any further, just listen to the episode.
Laura Loomer handcuffs herself to twitter HQ to make them bring back animated avatars. Science tells us that your “doggo” might not be as smart as you think, and young Gamer-Americans are being shipped off to rehab facilities in what parents describe as a “Fortnite addiction” phenomenon!
We get to listener voicemails as well. You can even leave your own at 312-788-7361, and we’ll play it on the show! Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week!