Case File 201 with Sophia Smarandescu

We’re back! This week we’re joined by Chicago comedian Sophia Smarandescu. You can follow her on Twitter, instagram, and Tiktok.

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Field Notes

No L’s posted in this episode, only W’s. Except for Gina Carano from The Mandalorian, who now has to work with Ben Shapiro on a movie. Also Rush Limbaugh died. Oops. Martin Scorsese also got cancelled for saying films have been getting worse (they have). And a tiktok star got Gorilla Glue stuck in her hair. God, what a depressing show we do each week. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review 🙂

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 200 Call-In Extravaganza with The Discord News Team

It’s finally here! The big one: Episode 200! We have a bunch of former guests and listeners call in for what’s possibly the longest episode in Thought Cops history! Thanks to everyone who has contributed, listened, and supported us throughout the years!

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Field Notes

When we set out to start doing this podcast a little over four years ago, we never thought we’d have such an amazing community of people that supported us and our work. So the episode is our way of showcasing that! Big thanks for the Discord News Team, the discordians, all the deputies everywhere, the patrons, all of our past guests, and anybody who listens to or follows us. Hopefully the best is still yet to come, 2020 was rough for everybody but big things are in store for 2021. Not much else to say about this one, it’s nearly 3 hours worth of two minuteses of hate and keys to the cities from a number of different community voices, so it speaks for itself! Thanks so much, everyone!

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 199 with Joie Agliata

Stocks are up- welcome back to another episode of your favorite financial advice podcast, Thought Cops! This week, Joie Agliata of Jump & Shoot Podcast joins us for a rip-roaring good time.

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Field Notes

Ryan Reynolds made a dirty joke this week, and it is literally the only thing anyone can talk about. Well, aside from the internet crashing the stock market, I guess. Stonks!! Lol, just kidding around. You did it, Reddit.

They made Mac & Cheese for ladies now (it’s pink), and a new service on twitter called “Bird Watch” threatens the very livelihoods of your two favorite podcast hosts. Don’t make us take those annoying personality tests that job applications make you do now.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 197 with Shawn Chatfield of Mega64

Pod’s in his heaven, all’s right with the world- Mega64‘s own Shawn Chatfield joins us today to talk about starring in their latest hit video Neon Genesis Evangelion In 5 Minutes (LIVE ACTION) (Sweded), as well as some of his favorite roles and moments over many years of content creation.

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Field Notes

Home Alone 2 cast member Donald Trump is set to leave office this week, and fans are requesting that he be digitally removed from the movie, George Lucas style. Taco Bell announces in a creepy video that they are sorry potatoes were taken off their menu, and that they are coming back, virus-free. We talk about different types of neo-liberal cuisine such as sheet cake and wine, unless you’re Armie Hammer, in which case you might prefer human flesh.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 196 with Tristan A. Smith

We’re back! Chicago comedian Tristan A. Smith joins us this week, make sure to follow him on Twitter, Instagram, tiktok, and wherever else good content is available.

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Field Notes

THE RETURN. This week we have the Liam Peeson Pissspiracy, fake anti-piracy warnings, Donald Trump gets banned from the internet, and that’s just the start of things. Kevin Spacey talks the internet down from suicide, Bean Dad is a thing in the news for nearly a full 24 hours before somebody that does improv tries to overthrow the government, pogchamp is now a hate symbol, and cancel culture rears its ugly head at Caillou. Anybody who thought 2021 was gonna be any better than 2020 is in for a rude awakening.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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BONUS! Fire Bros – Book 19

Happy after-holidays, everyone! Didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas or whatever? Well, here’s something else you didn’t ask for: a free episode of our spin-off show, Fire Bros!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

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“Fire Bros? W.T.F. is that,” you may be wondering. Well, if you donate at least $2 to us on Patreon, you’ll get access to ALL of the episodes of our spin-off show Fire Bros where we review four different pieces of media each month. Who else but the Thought Cops could determine what is and isn’t safe for public consumption? In this episode, Josh, AKA Sleepscience, joins us as we decide whether to burn or save some of the most hotly contested properties around. Check out the timestamps below and find out:

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker 8:15

Better Call Saul [S5] 20:56

Tenet 1:16:25

Feels Good Man 1:45:03

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 195 with Jade Benoit

Clownin’ around with us this week is Jade Benoit as we close out 2020, thus ushering in a new year in which everything will immediately be fixed.

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Field Notes

We have a brand new episode of Fire Bros up for all of our lovely Patreon donors, where we decide whether to burn or save: Borat 2, Brawl in Cell Block 99, Run The Jewels 4, and The Boys season 2. So, uh, help your boys out and don’t miss it?

Lots of great stories this week folks, lotta good stuff. You can’t say s*mp or *ncel anymore- we’ll be going over some of the alternatives in the episode. Pornhub allows only Ch*ckmarks to upload porno onto their platform now, and Joe Paulsef Watson tweets about masks and anal sex. A lot.

Lizzo got caught drinking juice this week, and OnlyFans turns out to be a viable alternative to waiting for the next stimulus package.

Thank you for all your continued support during this shitty year. I know listening to podcasts is probably the last thing on anyone’s minds these days, but we love doing it, and hopefully we keep you company and make you laugh once in a while too. See you, Space Cop.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 194 with Jack Allison

Jack Allison is Back Allison this week. That’s right, the host of Struggle Session is here once again to talk about getting Grinch-pilled, dunking on idiots on twitter, and so much more.

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Field Notes

We have a brand new episode of Fire Bros up for all of our lovely Patreon donors, where we decide whether to burn or save: Borat 2, Brawl in Cell Block 99, Run The Jewels 4, and The Boys season 2. So, uh, help your boys out and don’t miss it?

Grant talks about a real battle with technology withdrawal this week, and Kevin expresses grief with the “Age yourself by ____” posts. “Oh, you were born in approximately this year range? Wow, me too!”

California lost another one of it’s most important residents this week. Possibly to Texas? Who knows. Disney announced about 60 things at once because brand fatigue means nothing when you sit atop the throne of the Mouse.

Moving along to finer cinema, someone call up Martin Scorsese, ’cause he should make a flick about Cuomo and Fauci! Yeahhh they’re like the next fucken, DeNiro and Pacino! Forget about it!

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 193 with Slime Da Garbage Mane

Back for the threepeat, Slime Da Garbage Mane is here! Check out his social media, his music, and his newest video!

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Field Notes

Make sure to check out our Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales going on at the Teespring Store.

This episode exists. But this person might not. Good thing that mf doesn’t. Speaking of mf’s, Hitler is once again back in the news. I thought we’d gotten rid of him!

Speaking of getting rid of people, this episode we send Casey Neistat back in time to die in one of the multiple ways you could’ve died in the previous century. Sorry Casey! *Monkey Paw Curls*

We wrap the episode off with one of the best jokes that’s been on the show, so you won’t want to miss it.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 192 with Lowres Wunderbread

Back again and it’s about time too, Lowres Wunderbread is on Thought Cops! Check out his website, Facebook, Patreon, and everything else.

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Field Notes

Make sure to check out our Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales going on at the Teespring Store.

We have a new culture war this week, because the war on Christmas wasn’t enough of a dumb thing to fight over. Speaking of dumb things, Van Morrison teamed up with Eric Clapton to make another dumb lockdown song.

A new teaser for the Clifford the Big Red Dog Movie dropped, and it looks bad. Surprise surprise. Chappelle’s Show was also on Netflix for a day until Dave made an 18 hour long video asking people not to watch it.

We also watch paint dry during the episode.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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