Case File 115 with Ari Grabb

Bananagram! This week on the beat we’re joined by Ari Grabb, creator of Bento Banana, as well as a whole youtube channel full of great content.

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Ari Grabb's cartoon Bento Banana busts through an episode of Thought Cops

Show Notes

This episode, we toss Facebook gore posts, Sonic the Hedgehog (again), Smash Bros meme stages, and “_______ shit particles on it” into the paddy wagon and beat the shit out of them. We also kick a Cubs owner out of Wrigley Field for being a white supremacist, we run all over Nick DiPaolo’s lawn and stomp on his daylillies, and try and save the economy by never eating at Burger King or Starbucks ever fucking again.

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Click here for tickets to see us live on Thursday, August 22nd at the Crowd Theater in Chicago.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

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Fire Bros: Book 10

Download Episode 10 of Fire Bros HERE!

Welcome to Book 10 of Fire Bros, the Thought Cops monthly bonus episodes! This month, we’re talking about Beat Cop, Escape from New York, Blade Runner 2049, and Roma. If you have any suggestions for next episode, drop em below! Thanks for listening, and thanks for supporting the show.

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Case File 114 with Deputy Sancho

Here you are, crawling back for more. Go ahead, have another episode of Thought Cops. Deputy Sancho joins us this week, after all.

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Show Notes

Like a phoenix, he has risen from the ashes. That’s right, that horrible live-action Sonic that everyone hates is getting a redesign thanks to your complaining. Alex Jones gets kicked off of facebook, severing his last line of broadcasting to the masses: your conservative aunt’s profile page. We also talk about blue text bubble vs green text bubble class warfare, radical politicians, and the confusing conundrum that is the Star Wars movie franchise.

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Don’t forget to donate to Sancho’s charity walk for NAMI. It’s for a good cause.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

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Case File 113 with Bontrager

Bon jour! This week we’re joined by Chicago comedian Bontrager.

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Thumbnail for episode 113 of Thought Cops featuring Bontrager

Show Notes

Officer Kevin is finally back from Japan, and the squad car is hitting the streets hard. We take out the “honk honk, clown world” bullshit, people instagramming movies, and the poor souls in this world who are the only people on the entire planet who have never seen Game of Thrones.

We cover this ridiculous tweet from a musicologist, LGBT representation in Marvel movies, internet streamer Etika gets swatted, and Charles Martinet clarifies just exactly what Mario says as he perpetrates a hate crime against Bowser.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

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Thought Cops: Case File 112

Konnichiwa! You’re tuning into Thought Cops radio scanner channel 69.6. Officer Kevin is currently radioing into the show in the middle of an undercover reconnaissance mission in Neo-Toyko 3 to investigate the horrors that video games are plaguing upon the public discourse this week.

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Thumbnail for episode 112 of Thought Cops, from Chicago to Japan

Show Notes

Make sure to buy tickets for the Boomer vs. Zoomer tour if you’ll be in Chicago on August 22nd, featuring former guests of Thought Cops Asterios Kokkinos, Mumkey Jones, and Sriracha. We’ll be opening for them. Get your tickets now!

Like we mentioned, Officer Kevin had to go to Japan this week after Nintendo was found to be using disability slurs in a video game’s song. In retaliation, we destroy a young gaming journalist’s career. We also go across the pond to France, because people won’t stop sharing vacation pictures on social media after a church burned down. So we had to go in and burn all the social media company headquarters down. That’s at least one of the reasons why Reddit isn’t working today.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

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Case File 111 with Lars and Joe of The First Podcast

This week on Thought Cops we’re joined by Lars and Joe of The First Podcast. We were also on an episode of theirs that has yet to come out, but in the meantime check out the Officer Grant solo episode.

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Thought Cops Thumbnail featuring Lars and Joe of The First Podcast

Show Notes

IF YOU’RE IN OR AROUND CHICAGO AUGUST 22ND, make sure to buy tickets for the Boomer vs. Zoomer tour, featuring former guests of Thought Cops Asterios Kokkinos, Mumkey Jones, and Sriracha. We’ll be opening for them. Get your tickets now!

We’ve also got a beef with Tinder trying to pull an April Fool’s Day joke IN FUCKING MARCH. Hope nothing in TINDER headquarters is FLAMMABLE, if you know what I mean.

This episode we also poke holes in the problematic “consent condoms,” and discover that despite his clear disdain for humanity by plaguing humanity with terrible comics, Nathan Pyle is somehow “pro-life.” Turns out I’m technically “pro-choice” now, because I’ll terminate my own life if he keeps making comics.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

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Case File 110 with Alex Prevolos and Deputy Marty

Lock and load bitch, it’s episode 110 of Thought Cops. This week we’re joined by Chicago comedian and owner of The Storefront, Alex Prevolos, and his cousin Marty aka @extremelypeace on Twitter.

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Thought Cops episode thumbnail with guests Alex Prevolos and Marty @extremelypeace

Show Notes

We’ve hit 30k downloads! Thanks everybody for listening! Let’s keep those numbers growing, tell all your friends, family members, and Tinder dates to listen and subscribe to Thought Cops!

This week, Alex and Marty help us fight the good fight against unfunny twitter accounts, otherwise healthy 20 year olds with one foot in the grave, Fugazi Economics, slow walkers, medical degrees in popping pimples, celebrity millionaires pretending to be normies, and much more. This is a packed episode, folks.

We also get fooled into talking about Tinder height verification during the episode. Stay tuned to the next episode for the stunning conclusion where we rip Tinder a new asshole for doing an April Fool’s Day prank A FULL FUCKING WEEK BEFORE APRIL. I sure hope Tinder headquarters isn’t flammable. We also talk about the declining rate of men under 30 having sex. Feels bad, man.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick.

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Case File 109 with Joey Agliata of Jump and Shoot

Hands up! This week on Thought Cops we’re joined by Joey Agliata of Jump and Shoot: a Mega Man Podcast.

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Thought Cops episode 109 thumbnail with Joey Agliata of Jump and Shoot: a Mega Man Podcast

Show Notes

Joey helps us nab perps off the street this week, such as worn-out Florida Man memes, people with anime avatar profile pics, lazy pieces of shit who won’t make their own lives better, and having to do your taxes because the government likes giving you homework.

More importantly though, the Jussie Smollett case was dropped. I’m sure we’ll never talk of any of this again. Myspace deletes everything before 2016 except the long-lasting impact of early 2000’s emo music. Memes become illegal in Europe. Maybe with some luck we’ll make them illegal over here, too. And last but not least, a vegan youtuber gets caught red-handed. And the red on her hand? THE BLOOD OF INNOCENT ANIMALS. Hope you enjoy eating meat IN THE FUCKING GULAG.

We also got this dope fan art from @magipicsandsuch on Twitter, so smash that follow button.

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Fire Bros: Book 9

Download Episode 9 of Fire Bros HERE!

Welcome to Book 9 of Fire Bros, the Thought Cops monthly bonus episodes! This month, we’re talking about Neon Genesis Evangelion + The End of Evangelion, To Live and Die in L.A., and god forbid, fucking Gotti. This episode we’re joined by our friend Deputy Sleepscience. I think this might be the best Fire Bros we’ve done yet, so tell your friends to subscribe. And check out that new album artwork plus the logo! Big thanks to Producer Zwick as always. Also featuring the newest installment of the theme song. Check it out, thanks for listening!

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Case File 108 with Dick Masterson

PRESENTING: episode 108 of Thought Cops, with America’s Wingman himself, host of The Dick Show, Dick Masterson. Also the creator of New Project 2 and a timeless masterpiece of satire. He gets to be on episode 108 because he never got a 108 of his own on The Biggest Problem (rest in peace).

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Dick Masterson dropping in for episode 108 of Thought Cops

Show Notes

This week, Dick helps us tackle the problems of Instagram/Snapchat stories of people watching tv, tech companies that are so progressive that they’re puritanical, and the 10 habits of extremely productive people. Hard hitting commentary as usual.

In actual news though, we talk about the culpability of entertainers like Pewdiepie in the wake of national tragedies, JK Rowling’s revisionist historical perspectives toward her own made up world, cat fuckers, and the curious case of Egg Boy.

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