Case File 290: Keyblade to the City with Martin Felshman

When you walk away, you don’t hear me say, that Martin Felshman of Podzooky is back on the show with an AMAZING surprise. Watch this one with someone you love if you can.

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Field Notes

Straight from the world of Kingdom Hearts, we have our very own Neo-Chicago themed Keyblade! That’s right, once Thought Cops inevitably becomes a Disney, property you can visit the wonderful, neon-clad world of Neo-Chicago with Sora and his friends.

Probably.

Thanks again Martin! This is too cool.

We talk about Mr. Beast: the new Christ and future president of the United States. AI is a bit of a mixed bag this week. On one hand, people are getting caught watching deepfake pr0n of their friends. On the other, someone made Seinfeld into a PS1-looking, never-ending streaming prompt.

Maybe it’s all bad? Probably.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 289: Taking The Train To Coolsville with Jack Ryan

What’s up all you cool cats out there– Jack Ryan joins us in studio for a wonderful winter day of podcasting.

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Field Notes

Snow has fallen on the neon cityscape of Neo-Chicago, but we are safe inside from the elements and talking about trains, toys, and tiktok into our microphones.

M&Ms are back in the news. Because they always fucking are. People are freaking out because Pink Floyd has gone “woke”. Lol, you won’t believe this one. Jay Leno is also becoming the 6 million dollar man.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 288: Shifting with Ben Flores and Sarah Black

We “shift” ourselves to 1984 and back this week as Ben Flores and Sarah Black return to the show to talk about their latest new podcast CrimeWatchers!

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Field Notes

‘Rewatch podcasts’ are all the rage right now. CrimeWatchers is the latest hit podcast of that phenomenon, as two of the stars of Crimestoppers: Miami (the show each and every one of us watched in the 2000’s) Kent and Piper talk us through what it was like to be on set, or in some cases even LIVE on set!

Ben and Sarah bring to life the wonderful world of Crime, and talk us through the process. We talk about the latest phenomenon currently hitting TikTok, “shifting”, and were marks and angles a math thing? You tell us.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 287: Klop of the Morning to You with Aaron Klopfer

Woke M&M’s are back, but good news, so is Aaron Klopfer!

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Field Notes

That’s right: woke M&M’s are back, gas stove discourse is lighting up the internet, and Hobo Johnson exists. Talk about a hell world!

We also talk about turning 30, working and not working, depression, dating, and whatever the fuck else millennials these days talk about.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 286: New Year New Brant with Alex Ptak

For our first episode of 2023, Alex Ptak returns as we discuss Quorators, content creation, and lots more.

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Field Notes

We share our new years resolutions on this episode, and talk about Quora, the newest garbage bin of the internet, when you need a question answered and want the longest and preferably most insane answer possible.

Andrew Tate and Andrew WK are the yin and yang of partying, Jeremy Renner gets run over by a reindeer (snow plow), and people can’t stop making lists!

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 285: The Audio Professional Didn’t Set Up His Microphone Properly with Zwick

This Christmas/New Years/Holiday season you will be haunted by three podcasters: the ghost of Kevin, the ghost of Grant, and the ghost of this week’s guest: everybody’s favorite bisexual Juggalo and our very own editor/producer, Zwick!

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Field Notes

It’s negative 100 degrees outside, so we bring in the New Year by bullying Zwick, who we all agree, brings it on himself. So we hate on movie lists, people putting their hands in front of you and expecting you to know what handshake to do, Grinch revisionism, and more!

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

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Case File 284: Mandatory Christmas Special

Ho ho ho! Happy Merry! It’s a Thought Cops Christmas special! You only get to listen if the Elf on the Shelf says you’re on the Nice List.

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Field Notes

Last Christmas we gave you our heart, but this year we share in tales of merriment and holiday cheer. We set out to rediscover what the true meaning of Christmas is: that Santa Claus is real. That’s it, that’s the whole thing. If you don’t believe that you’re a bad person. We also talk about movies and venturing out into public amongst lunatics.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 283: Serial Experiments LAN with Merritt K

Merritt K returns to Thought Cops to talk about her upcoming photo book LAN Party!

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Field Notes

Recalling memories of days on the internet of old, Merritt K talks to us about her book LAN Party, which is full of photos of people just hanging out on the computer and having an awesome time with their friends. It’s a delightful walk down memory lane, to simpler (yet slightly more convoluted) times.

You can support the book LAN Party here!

Was the internet better back then? Is it actually worse now? Will the Mario movie be good? All questions will be answered on this very episode.

In other news, apparently The Office is too edgy to be made now, and you can pee any time you want during Avatar 2 as long as you pay for a ticket to see it multiple times.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

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Case File 282: Endless Content Forever with Jacob Gregor

Chicago filmmaker Jacob Gregor joins us this week to talk about his latest film Endless Content Forever! A match made in heaven with the themes of this podcast, and his experimental movie.

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Field Notes

We bond over how annoying the internet is, naturally. Some guy takes his son to Hooters, and “it is sending us.” Twitter is set to have multiple different colored badges because, well, Elon.

Be sure to check out Endless Content Forever playing at a local film fest near you! Coming soon to Chicago, Florida, and Los Angeles. Follow Jacob for all the updates: https://twitter.com/JacobGorb

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Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

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BONUS! Fire Bros – Book 28 (Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Simpsons Movie, Everything Everywhere All At Once)

Happy holiday season! We hope this free bonus content warms up your winter just a little bit. Enjoy an episode of our Patreon-exclusive spin-off show Fire Bros – on the house!

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Field Notes

“Fire Bros? W.T.F. is that,” you may be wondering. Well, if you donate at least $2 to us on Patreon, you’ll get access to ALL of the episodes of our spin-off show Fire Bros where we review different pieces of media each month. Who else but the Thought Cops could determine what is and isn’t safe for public consumption? In this episode, we decide whether to burn or save some of the most hotly-contested properties around.

Check out the timestamps below and find out:

The Simpsons Movie 3:00

Everything Everywhere All at Once – 32:20

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 – 1:01:11

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Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

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