Case File 154 with Mitch Kamaiopili

Local Chicago comedian Mitch Kamaiopili joins us for this week’s episode of Internet Investigations Incoporated, a Thought Cops Company.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

This week, Mitch aids us in the fight against airplane seat punchers, NASA hoaxes, PSAs for straight dudes idolizing bad characters, motivation porn, and cat instagrams turning into baby instagrams.

Also a moment of silence for the Romphim. 2017-2020. Also a moment of silence for Papa John’s reputation, which breathed its last breath this week when he revealed he didn’t really eat 40 pizzas in a month. How else will I be disappointed in 2020? Tune in next week to find out!

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 153 with Rem Dickman of The Rich Dickman Show

We’re joined by Rem of The Rich Dickman Show this week on Thought Cops!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

Remember the Super Bowl? That was an entire year ago. Also though it was last week. And apparently the NFL is facing some trouble for having too sexy of a halftime show.

Officer Grant was also vindicated this week because of his prediction that marketing campaigns, such as the Planter’s Peanuts “Baby Nut” mascot, are trying to turn us all into babies. Goo goo.

There’s also a fun new social media app called Giggle that’s only for women, and there is definitely nothing that could be problematic as a result of the face-scanning software they use on the website.

We also help topple the Roman empire, cancel Abraham Lincoln, and we all get verified on Twitter. Hooray!

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 152 with Andrew Shankland

Welcome one and all, to another installment of Thought Cops. This week, Andrew Shankland returns to the program.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

152-thought-cops-andrew-shankland

Field Notes

Sick of your friends telling you that we’re living in the movie Idiocracy? Yeah, so are we. However, this week America comes together to mourn the loss of one of it’s greatest icons: Mr Peanut. Sound familiar? A MSNBC host has a major flub where her one job was to not have that one specific flub, and there are some new emojis I guess. Check em out!

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 151 with Witten

Better call the business number for the police, because Witten joins us for this auspicious episode of Thought Cops this week. You might recognize her from this video:

You can follow Witten on Twitter and Instagram. And possibly outdoors in a cage somewhere public. Gotta give the people what they want.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

Jeffery Epstein might not have killed himself, but we might’ve just caused the actor who voices Apu on the Simpsons to. Finally we caused economic harm to happen to a boomer instead of vice-versa.

Speaking of economic harm, some people out there can’t even afford a toothbrush, and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a lawsuit for one that only costs one cent. Nothing surprises me anymore.

Finally in outrage news this week, Vince Vaughn, lifelong republican, shook hands with the President of the United States. I demand Blockbuster Video give me a full refund for my purchase of the DVD of Dodgeball that I purchased in 2004.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Fire Bros: Book 15

Welcome to Book 15 of Fire Bros, the Thought Cops bonus episodes! This month, we’re joined by Witten, who helps us review Uncut Gems, Happy!, The Irishman, and Mandy. If you have any suggestions for next episode, drop em below! Thanks for listening, and thanks for supporting the show.

Download Episode 15 of Fire Bros HERE!

Uncut Gems- 3:01
Happy!- 19:42
The Irishman- 32:19
Mandy- 42:01

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 150 with LowRes Wünderbred

Hope you’re having a normal one, because this week on Thought Cops we have the talented, wonderful LowRes Wünderbred to help us lay down the law AESTHETICALLY. You can find his Youtube channel here and his trippy website, podcast, and everything else here.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

Keep having a normal one, my dude! You can only listen to this episode today! Hurry up, before the dopamine runs out.

LowRes helps us trudge through the bullshit news of the week, from Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina-scented candle, to Meghan Markle and her husband (whoever that is) leaving the Royal Family, to Jillian Michaels challenging Lizzo to a pushup contest. You can see why the dopamine hasn’t been doing its job lately. Anyway, hope this episode is a good way to start your week!

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 149 with Alex Schultz

Be Nice To Me Productions‘ own Alex Schultz returns to the program this week!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

149

Field Notes

K9 Service Pupparino Alex “Woof Woof” Schultz promotes his newest magnum dong opus “A Profoundly Angry Young Man“. Keep your eyes open and you may just see your second-favorite Thought Cops host make an appearance!

Twitter announces they are rolling out a new feature where when you say “don’t @ me”, no one will. Warner Brothers announces that they are going to use an AI program to produce movies, and a polyamorous couple announces they have snacks for their boyfriend’s girlfriend’s girlfriend.

Don’t miss this one, simps!

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 148 LIVE with Brianna Murphy

LIVE from the Crowd Theater in Neo-Chicago, Illinois: Brianna Murphy joins us for another live show!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

This was our second live show we’ve done at the Crowd Theater in Chicago. Brianna performed some standup, we hated on airplane feet, Facebook, and bro ads, and we sentenced the Top Ten Rocks songs of the decade, the Pope, and a couple of large boys using our brand new wheel of punishment. Malort was consumed, familiar faces were seen, and laughs were had by all. 2020’s already turning out to be a good year.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

BONUS! Fire Bros – Book 14

Happy after-holidays, everyone! Didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas or whatever? Well, here’s something else you didn’t ask for: a free episode of our spin-off show, Fire Bros!

Click here to buy a ticket for our live show on January 2nd at the Crowd Theater!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

FBBookCover14

“Fire Bros? W.T.F. is that,” you may be wondering. Well, if you donate at least $2 to us on Patreon, you’ll get access to ALL of the episodes of our spin-off show Fire Bros where we review four different pieces of media each month. Who else but the Thought Cops could determine what is and isn’t safe for public consumption? Will Joker up in the Library Of Regress, or will it be burned along with the forgotten pages of history? Tune in to find out!

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 147 with Bruce Kesselring

Hope this works: we’re back with comedian Bruce Kesselring this week, and we’ve got a few prizes in store for you as well!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

147-thought-cops-bruce-kesselring

Field Notes

Click here to buy a ticket for our live show on January 2nd at the Crowd Theater!

In our final episode of the decade, we look to the twitter toilet for answers. Turns out, it might just be a prank to rile us up? And 99.99% of people didn’t bother to check the OP’s bio? Yeah, that tracks.

We also read some relationship advice this week, and learn about history. Hallmark Channel pulls a holiday ad because they thought they’d lose money, and then puts it back up realizing that they could indeed make more money.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment