Case File 168 with Tyler Russo

What else can be said right now? Here’s some ridiculous bullshit, hope this lightens your week. Tyler Russo is back with us, we have some great discussion and much needed laughs.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

168-thought-cops-tyler-russo

Field Notes

We talk about annoying twitter joke prompts. Ruin a podcast with one letter? Easy. Thought Bops. Funny.

Priests are on watch this week as they steal our schtick (not that one), and boredom? It stinks! We discuss the Karen spectrum, and of course, the anatomy of a turtle penis. Grimes and Elon have “updated” their offspring’s name, and much more.

Want to cover our theme song? We’ll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case 167 with Aaron Klopfer

There may be no Aaron Klop-him, but there is an Aaron Klopfer, and he’s with us this week for another episode of Thought Cops!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

Lockdown is driving everyone insane, insane enough to finally attempt sucking our own dicks. Aaron finally succeeded (suck-seed-ed). We talk about lockdown, the difficulties of wanting to do anything during lockdown, oh yeah and also do the show. Two big stories this week were the Jersey E-Girl’s rise to fame and then within a couple hours rise to infamy. We also witness the world’s first deergasm and wish that we hadn’t. Please make it stop.

Make sure you check out our newest project, Reeducationing!

Want to cover our theme song? We’ll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case 166 with Sirancha and Niko of Darksyde Jills

What’s this, a crossover episode? Sirancha and Niko from Darksyde Jills join the battle this week on Thought Cops!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

This episode, we finally put an end to bodyshaming. Again. For like the fifth time or something. We pop a couple caps into the new Cal-Arts Toucan Sam, and take Chrissie Teigen‘s twitter account away from her.  This is how we win.

Make sure you check out our newest project, Reeducationing!

Want to cover our theme song? We’ll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case 165 with Grant Duffrin of Shrek Retold and Shrekfest

Don’t lean in, listen in! Grant Duffrin from Shrek Retold, Shrekfest, and the3gi fame joins the fight, this week on Thought Cops!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

In this week’s action-packed Thought Cops adventure, we reveal a new story arc. We’re going to be in the next iteration of Shrek Retold! We also make fun of Elon Musk and his new kid Missingno., have an in-depth conversation about posture and masculinity, and help manspreading cross over into the realm podcasting.

Make sure you check out our newest project, Reeducationing!

Want to cover our theme song? We’ll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 164 with Zwick

Sit back, relax, and pop open a bag of Corn Nuts, because Commissioner Zwick the Editor is here for the newest Thought Cops episode.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

As depressing as this lockdown has been, we can always rely on Tom Hanks to buy us all typewriters and, donate his blood to science? I always knew he was a superhero.

Tom Hanks can’t save all of us though. This big baby the internet keeps bullying, for instance. Or this one. Some of these jokes really only work if you click the links, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop.

Want to cover our theme song? We’ll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com. Also, if you subscribe to our $10 Patreon tier, you’ll get early access to all of our upcoming youtube videos.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 163 with Jeremy Kaplowitz of Hard Drive

Your cool friends might’ve all already heard this one, but send it to them anyway! Jeremy Kaplowitz, Editor in Chief of Hard Drive joins the fight this week! Jeremy is also the Campaign Manager of Ace Watkins, the Gamer President, and has his own podcast, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Show.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

Who censors the censorers is this week’s big question, and as always the answer is us. Disney is censoring your favorite (or not so favorite) movies left and right, removing women’s asses or turning washing machines into pizza ovens. Have they no shame? Have they no decency? Anyway, we’re here to set em straight and put nipples on their butts.

We also collectively cringed ourselves into an early death at the viewing of the abomination that is “Charmander,” and now you all have to witness it too. You’re welcome.

Right now you’re probably at home baking bread and cutting your own bangs, but instead maybe consider donating to our Patreon and getting some sweet bonus content. At least your friends won’t judge you for it.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 162 with Brian and Jim of Drink a Beer and Play a Game

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! Jim and Brian of Drink a Beer and Play a Game join us this week!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

162-thought-cops-jim-brian-drink-beer-and-play-a-game

Field Notes

We talk about K*rens and M*chaels this week, how how to avoid a terminal case of PlayStation wrist, according to top scientists at OnlineCasino.ca. People can’t jack it to the new Resident Evil game, and DuckTales? More like FuckTales, am I right, folks.

SNL gets quarantined yet won’t go away. Maybe someone should donate to their patreon. We talk about the Mug Shot Trend or Mug Shot Challenge, and whatever dumb shit you people are doing to occupy yourselves right now.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 161 with Brett Mercer of Big Time Garbage

Brett Mercer from Big Time Garbage joins the Thought Cops once more another fresh episode! April Fools, no he didn’t. Just kidding, April Fools is CANCELLED. No but really, he’s on this episode, and you should listen.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

April Fool’s may be cancelled, but self-quarantined social isolationism isn’t. We’re all in our respective bunkers broadcasting to you LIVE through the internet some hot-off-the-plate internet justice, Thought Cops style (no ketchup.) We’ve got it all, jammed into one giant delicious episode.

On this episode we’ve learned that if the Sopranos is your favorite tv show, you might be just a little to the left of Adolph Hitler. The world may be crumbling all around us, but we can all still rely on dumb politics to unite us and make us feel like everything’s back to normal. Just look at a Lori Lightfoot meme and shut up. Maybe if you do we’ll all get through this quicker.

Speaking of wanting to get through things quicker, the sooner we can get through the Cuomo brothers’ dumb fucking quarantine schtick the better. The news of the week that I never wanted to have to ever look at is “Nipplegazi.” Click the link if you dare. One of them has the covid so maybe this will all be over sooner than we could all hope.

Brett and the Garbage boys have been streaming almost every night over on their twitch channel, make sure to give them a follow.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 160 with Asterios Kokkinos

Turn your volume knob all the way up, because The Loudest Podcast’s Asterios Kokkinos joins the fight once again! Asterios and Srirancha run the Asterios and Srirancha Podcast Emporium where you can buy any sort of podcast imaginable so long as it’s theirs.

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Field Notes

What might be worse than dying from the virus is the lack of sex we’re all having as a result of social isolation. The CDC is making coronacels out of all of us, telling us to stop giving rim jobs and to stop licking toilets (technically and practically also a “rim job”???), and isn’t it about time someone stood up to them and told them to stop kink shaming? If I want to catch the virus just to trigger the libs that’s MY RIGHT as an American.

At least we still have Animal Crossing to play no wait just kidding PETA ruined it for us. FUCK. I’m so frustrated in so many different ways right now. One fetish they can’t take away from us though is this Malort flavored hand sanitizer. Yes, I did say “flavored.” Perfect for sanitizing your hands after going to the grocery store, and for sanitizing your tongue after licking shit, no matter what the surface.

Anyway thanks for listening as always, and remember: when we all run out of food, celebrities are fair game and it doesn’t count as cannibalism because they’re not really people.

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment

Case File 159 with Garrett Hunter and Bryan Abou Chacra

Mega64‘s own Garrett Hunter returns, and Mega64‘s own Bryan Abou Chacra makes his debut! The two hosts of the Mega64 Poorly Played Stream team up with the two hosts of Thought Cops in our meatiest, most vulnerable episode yet!

iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

159-thought-cops-garrett-hunter-lord-king-brian-mega64-poorly-played-stream-pps

Field Notes

So, how bout this virus we’re having?

Everything is closed and there’s nothing to do, so we’re streaming more than ever on twitch! We’ve been doing all kinds of fun streams lately, so subscribe to us and don’t miss a beat!

Much to talk about this week. And no one gives a fuck about your quarantine routine. Least of all Jared Leto, who had no idea any of this was happening because he was hiding from a cult he created or something.

Despite all of the shelter-in-place warnings (read: orders), it didn’t stop college students from wanting to party it up in Miami! Well, it can’t be so bad when the alternative is being cooped up with your family. And some family feuds die hard, as shown in this clip from the Cuomo brothers. But it’s pretty lonely out there, if we’re being honest. After all, just look at the WWE.

Thanks for listening, and keep us some company with your voicemails! 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol

Image result for patreon logoSupport the show on Patreon

Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.

Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick

Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com

Posted in Weekly Episodes | Leave a comment