Childhood ruined: the new Aladdin cashcow in the works from Disney finally showed off it’s new look for the Genie. Surprise: he’s blue! Surprise: it sucks! Thought you heard the last of the “-gate” suffix? Well, think again! Kamala Harris is in hot (bong) water this week as “reefergate” is at the forefront of everyone’s minds. Top internet detectives were able to counter-research when Tupac albums came out, to when Ms. Harris claims to have smoked that sticky icky. With this kind of manpower, we could have cured cancer right now. Aziz Ansari addressed his scandal from a year back or so, too. Get a load of this and a lot more by listening to this thrilling episode of Thought Cops!
Get in, loser. It’s another episode of Thought Cops! This week we are joined by Chicago comedian Andrew Shankland! This week, we’re talking about #fuckfuckjerry, the Super Bowl, and Howard Schultz’s “people of wealth” comments.
It’s been a busy week. We guested on the latest episode of Here’s What I Don’t Get. And you can GET it HERE. Sorry guys, saw the opportunity and had to go for it. We’ve also been more active on our twitch channel recently, so don’t forget to subscribe and you won’t miss a stream. We’ve got a new episode of Fire Bros out, and we sent out our personal mini-episodes to all of the Federales in the $10 Ride Along tier. Whew.
“Fuck FuckJerry”. Never thought you’d see that headline, did ya? Welcome to 2019. FuckJerry is under attack for jacking people’s content. The Superb*wl happened recently, and nobody liked it. Yet somehow it remains the most televised event in the country. No Spongebob homage? Disrespectful. We learn that you shouldn’t say the B-word anymore (Billionaires, that’s the last time I’m going to say it outside of this learning moment) and you should instead say “People of Wealth”. Or, PoW’s if you’re a lazy monster.
Thanks for listening everybody, and keep those sirens on for us.
Lock and load, because we’re back for “season two” of Thought Cops: Episode 101! We’re back from our post-100 break, and we’re joined this week by Riley from Anti-Social Entertainment and his friend Bird or Longneck or whatever other moniker he decides to go by in the upcoming months.
This week’s show is all about catching up on the last two week’s worth of news stories, so we’re playing all the hits. We’ve got the toxic masculinity Gillette ad. We’ve got the Covington Catholic School boys smirking at Native American veterans. We’ve got Ben Shapiro defending Baby Hitler. We’ve got the Venom fuckers versus the Ted Bundy fuckers. We’ve got Howard Schultz’s presidential run. What more could you want from a podcast about pure unadulterated internet outrage? Brought to you for the low, low price of ABSOLUTELY FREE.
If you’d like to though, you can always support our show on Patreon. Click the link below. Thanks for listening!
Click here to donate to our Patreon! Welcome to Book 8 of Fire Bros, the Thought Cops monthly bonus episodes! This month, we’re talking about Birdbox, Bandersnatch, John Wick 2, and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. We’re also joined this episode by Fire Deputy Riley and Fire Deputy Bird. Thank you all for subscribing to the show and for supporting us! Hope you enjoy the episode!
Officer Kevin and Officer Grant take a “look back” at their “legacy” thus far over, at some of the “greatest hits” of the past 100 episodes. My memory may be a bit foggy on these, but they sound familiar?
This episode isn’t just about the Thought Cops, though. This is a celebration of YOU- the listeners! Lots of friends of the show chime in with some congratulatory voicemails, as well as cameo appearances from Justin Whang, Davepretendo, Allan Foster, and Zwick! Won’t you join us on this trip down “memory lane”?
Charlotte tells us about all of the “C-words” in her line of work, and how it’s just best in general not to be a total C-word. We agree. We also talk about how “Top ___ Of The Year” lists give us fleeting purpose in this crazy world. After all, we haven’t made any progress in the last 10 years.
Louis CK is back in the news. We’re tired of talking about him. So instead we’ll focus our energy on the Monterey Bay Aquarium and their calculated takedown of an innocent otter who may or may not have a weight problem but is beautiful no matter what because all otters are beautiful. We also learn that otter means something else, too.
Welcome to Thought Cops! This week, we’re joined by three-peat champion Asterios Kokkinos! Asterios is a comedian from New York, and the host of 48,000 podcasts you can all find in the Asterios Kokkinos Podcast Factory.
It’s the start of a new year, which means we’ve brought all of last year’s problems over the threshold to ruin everyone’s internet experience one obnoxious post at a time. This week, we go apprehend people over too much AOC spam, the social media depression hole, Chris Rock’s n-word controversy, and Soulja Boy’s failed video game console. We also get weirded the fuck out by Kevin Spacey’s newest viral video:
Don’t forget to leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361, and we’ll play it on the show. Happy new year, mother fuckers.
Larry helps us attack the issues of the week, such as the Patreon debacle, all the lawsuits against Fortnite, Sweden’s “man-free” music festival found guilty of discrimination, and a gender neutral Santa debate that doesn’t really exist. We also spend two minutes of hate hating on “internet safety,” Ted Cruz Beard Apologists, and Facebook Friends list purges.
Don’t forget to leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361, and we’ll play it on the show. Thanks again for listening, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS. ALL OF THE HOLIDAYS.
We walk back our comments on celebrity deaths by sticking it to the “celebrity death trolls” this week. How many times am I going to have to google “Adam Sandler dead”, my fingers shaking on each key press, before I learn my lesson? Until you stop trolling me!
A Sonic the Hedgehog movie is coming out, and we got our first look at the character design! Yeah, it sucks. But you probably didn’t need me to tell you that. Though, Sonic has been drawn in much, much, much worse proportions before.
It’s awards season, so we’re talking the Oscars and the Game Awards. Hope you scrubbed your social media presence over the last 15 years, because you might just lose your spot as a host like Kevin Hart did.
Baby It’s Cold Outside is back in the news. I feel like we just did an episode about this, around this time, last year. We’ll probably talk about it again next year, too. Listen to the episode to see if there have been any changes since last year. You win a prize if you can “spot the difference”!
We ride on through to some listener voicemails as well. Leave your own at 312-788-7361, and we’ll play it on the show. Come on, it’s fun! Thanks again for listening, and please, take care of yourselves out there, would you?
Climb aboard, it’s another episode of Thought Cops! This week we are joined by Chicago comedians Aaron Klopfer and Brianna Murphy, and we try very hard to stay on task. Results may vary, but you won’t complain now, will you?
This week, we tackle celebrity deaths. The ones that matter, at least. We (Grant) get mad at our phones for not doing what we tell them to do. Darn those things.
A CALL TO ARMS: The war on porn has begun. Tumblr has started censoring all adult content (which naturally, the algorithm attempts to wildly guess at) and Starbucks bans porn sites from their wifi. No room for cream with that order.